I’m just going to assume that kiss print on Dandelion’s neck is a tattoo, okay? And there’s nothing you can say to make me think otherwise.
I never even noticed that to now, but I wasn’t looking at his neck.
Oh, God. Just walked back into Floatsam. Geralt’s sword was still in hand. The minute I crossed over the threshold into the town, dramatic, LOUD music began playing. Guards were yelling. There’s a big warning on my screen: SHEATHE YOUR SWORD BEFORE THE GUARDS REACT! Meanwhile, I’m sitting here like this:
How many guards did you kill before you put away the death dealer?
Just when I was about to get mad that they made me take Gridley to Rupert instead of the ghost.
You didn’t. Not on your first play through. I thought you were playing mostly good Geralt who gives people chances.
Geralt: Maybe the fire didn’t consume everything. Maybe I can find some medicine, a sedative.
Me: But Geralt… this hospital has to be about a bajillion years old and it’s haunted. U OK? We can’t give people medicine we found in a ruined hospital. Did I mention it was also haunted.
Mr. DT: Are you talking to the game again?
Me: BUT HE WANTS TO GIVE MEDICINE TO A GUY HE FOUND IN AN HAUNTED, ABANDONED HOSPITAL. THIS THING HAS PROBABLY BEEN EMPTY SINCE THE DAWN OF MAN!
Mr. DT: But baby, it might be a good idea. I think that sounds like a good idea actually.
Remind me that if we ever get stuck in an abandoned, haunted hospital to try to keep my sanity or else Mr. DT is going to feed me old medicine that he finds for the LULz.
Sleep with one eye open.
Why won’t this game just let me be fantastic? Found the medicine and it worked, but now we gotta look for a corpse. How about no? How about we just let the ass stay in the hospital with the madness he created? In fact, I’ll throw that other ass that helped him in there to keep him company because fucking asses.
Get yourself together, DT. Save the HULK SMASH for more appropriate parts of the game.
Geralt: Maybe the fire didn’t consume everything. Maybe I can find some medicine, a sedative.
Me: But Geralt… this hospital has to be about a bajillion years old and it’s haunted. U OK? We can’t give people medicine we found in a ruined hospital. Did I mention it was also haunted.
Mr. DT: Are you talking to the game again?
Me: BUT HE WANTS TO GIVE MEDICINE TO A GUY HE FOUND IN AN HAUNTED, ABANDONED HOSPITAL. THIS THING HAS PROBABLY BEEN EMPTY SINCE THE DAWN OF MAN!
Mr. DT: But baby, it might be a good idea. I think that sounds like a good idea actually.
Remind me that if we ever get stuck in an abandoned, haunted hospital to try to keep my sanity or else Mr. DT is going to feed me old medicine that he finds for the LULz.
Sleep with one eye open.
Geralt is suffering from Commander Shepard’s Tourettes.
One of my dialogue options included the option “very funny.” Okay, I didn’t think much of that because Geralt never gave me a reason to worry in TW1 with dialogue choices. I knew exactly what he was going to say in that game. Then, I see in TW2 they’ve switched to the paraphrase system, but you know, I decide that might be okay since I’ve never had to worry before about it.
So, I’m happily watching this scene and a dialogue option pops up, which has my “very funny” option, and I happily choose my sarcastic “very funny” option. And then, Geralt says, “Fuck you!”
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. That’s not what I meant for you to say. Why the fuck would you say that, Geralt? Did I tell you to say that? Is this going to be a thing now.
So, this is a perfect indicator that so much flailing is about to take place because of this game.
You just need to let Geralt be Geralt.
